Volume 1, Number 4

With apologies to the rest of New Jersey... Nestled in the shadow of New York City, northern New Jersey is not on anyone's top 1,000 list of places they'd most like to see captured forever on a postcard. But it surprised us to find that their attempt to show support for that American icon known as the Statue of Liberty turned into a bit of a Freudian slop, er, slip of the tongue when someone penned the following bumper sticker--
"New Jersey. We stand behind the Lady."

WTMTSW... "Hey New York... We can't quite see your beautiful skyline because of this big French woman who won't seem to move."

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I think I'm insulted. Restaurants and motels dotting the highways vie for our attention with pithy sentiments designed to lure us from our monotonous journey into the comfort of their establishments. But one New Jersey motel located on Barnegat Bay should learn to be more careful when combining that welcome with a menu item. (Or learn to use a little punctuation now and then).
"Welcome Stuffed Flounder"

WTMTSW... "Customers wanted, dead or alive."

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Seeing double. Some bumper stickers just beg to be remembered by unintentionally communicating two things at once... such as this gem which is popping up around the US.
"We're doubly blessed with twins."

WTMTSW... "Did you say twins? I said, did you say twins?"

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When naming your company, be careful. Be very careful. This company has been around for years, but we're sure their waiters and waitresses quickly tire of hearing the jokes relating to the odd order of the words in their restaurant's name...
"Eat 'n Park"

WTMTSW... "Our fast food restaurant will be called the Swallow 'n Chew."

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You don't have to tell me twice. The following warning appeared on the side of the trash crusher arm inside the back of one of those huge garbage trucks that seem capable of swallowing whole neighborhoods:
"Stay Out"

WTMTSW... "OK class, now let's cover the part about why it's not wise to eat the stuff people throw out."

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It's a bird, it's a plane, no... it's the state police. Virtually every state on the east coast of the US has resorted to various threats to get drivers to obey the speed limit. The most creative one, by far, is the following sign -- which if you think about it -- is scary as hell.
"Speed enforced from aircraft"

WTMTSW... "We don't mean 'speed monitored'. We mean we've ordered Apache Attack Helicopters which will be arriving any day now."

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What They Meant To Say Was...(WTMTSW) September 1, 1995 Edition / Vol.1, No.4

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Copyright © 1995 Dalton, Rich & More, Inc. All rights reserved.

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