Volume 2, Number 2
Surely you can see the value of this deal...
Trying to cash in on the hype surrounding Beatlemania II, with new songs, anthologies and the like, one company decided to sell limited edition Beatles album covers, signed by the Fab Four. Included in the collection is, of course, that famous "White Album." For those not historically up to date on the artwork that adorned this cover...
...there was none! Just white.
Oh, and the cost? $150 each. --
WTMTSW... "We know you think you've seen this white pattern thing at Sears, but you haven't. Not at 150 bucks!"
Submitted by Octahedron the Unwise, El Cerrito, California, USA
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Another name we wouldn't call a company...
During our brief history, WTMTSW has come across company names that don't meet even minimal standards for the specific business each is meant to represent (see WTMTSW Vol. 1, No. 3). Maybe it's just us... but would you trust these guys with your furniture? -
"...Mabey Moving & Storage"
WTMTSW..."We're pretty sure your stuff won't break."
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Editor's note: With this issue, we introduce a new section of WTMTSW where we occasionally join with the PC Police (those ever-present watchers of what's politically correct and what's not), to point out particularly obvious breaches of PC-ness. We don't necessarily like to this do any better than you, but sometimes...
PC Watch -
Strath Haven Middle School, a suburban enclave just west of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, recently staged Peter Pan. The program was published with congratulatory wishes from family and friends. One in particular, however, caught our eye. -
"...To Lisa, our favorite Native American: Break-um leg!"
WTMTSW..."To Lisa, from your favorite Naive American family..."
Submitted by Kristen Sassano, New York, New York, USA
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From our redundancy department (section, group, etc.)
There's a full-time meteorologist at the Atlanta-based Weather Channel who just can't seem to get enough out of her Thesaurus. It's her habit to make every statement as clear, articulate and understandable as possible, so she goes, glides and journeys from sentence to sentence repeating herself over and over, again and again, and... well, the statement that really upset us was her reference to a particularly slow-moving weather system as -
"...persistent, stubborn and sluggish"
WTMTSW..."It's slow. It's snail-like. It's virtually at a stand still."
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No... no water, thanks!
Obviously people have enough trouble communicating in their own language. So expecting them to be clear in a second language may not entirely be fair... but hey, that won't stop us, especially when we come across a gem like this sign spotted in a Mexican hotel lobby -
"Water personally passed by the hotel manager"
WTMTSW..."We said, 'don't drink the water!'"
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We really don't care to know how it died, thank you very much.
A yuppie-style bar and restaurant on the Main Line west of Philadelphia serves some interesting dishes. We must admit, we have yet to order this particular delicacy -
"Smothered Chicken"
WTMTSW..."You should try our throat-sliced turkey."
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Now I'm positive we won't make it...
Airlines should recognize the natural fear that overcomes most of us as we board a plane. We get nervous if the pilot is obviously drunk. We get queasy when the attendant walks around with a parachute strapped to their back. But we get really upset when we see a flight number like this one spotted somewhere on the East coast -
"Flight 5050"
WTMTSW..."Don't make any plans for tomorrow just yet."
Copyright © 1996 Dalton, Rich & More, Inc. All rights reserved.
