Volume 3, Number 2
Such a deal...
Bermuda is a vacationer's haven... replete with pastel scenes to soothe the senses and restore the soul. The kind of place where you'd love to retire. But if you go, shop the classified ads very carefully... as this local discovered recently when perusing the pages of the Royal Gazette...
...For Sale. Washer-$300. Dryer-$200.
Special price for both-$500.
WTMTSW... "If you buy this, I've got some underwater real estate you may like to see."
Submitted anonymously.
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Politically (very) Incorrect...
The Head Start program is a highly renowned, consistently successful example of people working together. Much of the reason for its success can be traced to a very carefully developed curriculum which provides preschoolers with health and nutrition information, literacy education, socialization, and other vital experiences to ready them for school. But apparently all this was just too much for one parent in Southwestern Pennsylvania who entered a local Head Start classroom... snatched up her child and declared to the teacher -
... "We will NOT be coming back. I just found out
this school is teaching my daughter SOCIALIZATION!"
WTMTSW... "Socialization. Socialism. What's the dif? I'm seeing red and my kid and I are outta here!"
Submitted by Rebecca O'Connell of Pittsburgh, PA.
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Say it ain't so, Sam...
Sam Shepherd - a famous 1950's neurosurgeon - was arrested, convicted and sentenced for the brutal murder of his wife. He claimed someone broke into his home and committed the crime. The trial turned out to be the 1950's version of the OJ Simpson courtroom dramas many decades later. Then, in early February, 1997, it was reported that DNA evidence had finally exonerated Sam of the crime. The news was duly reported by all the networks, including ABC's Peter Jennings... who stated:
... "Shepherd was convicted, then released a few years later on a technicality. He spent the rest of his life trying to prove his guilt."
WTMTSW... "The producers of "The Fugitive"(both TV and movie versions) are red-faced. They based their entire stories on Shepherd trying to prove his innocence."
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Keystone reporters...
Again, our vigilant Fourth Estate scans the day's news looking for gems to report (and mis-report). Take a recent Philadelphia area hostage standoff where more than a hundred people were not permitted to leave a check-cashing office for fear the hostage-takers would escape with them. The siege continued for hours as a tense media reported every non-detail. But it was left to a local news anchor to give the story a really unexpected twist when he described the scene as hostages were permitted to exit the building singly -
... "The SWAT Team took out hostages one at a time."
WTMTSW... "I thought they were on our side!"
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Faster than a speeding simile...
With information overload rampant, speed-reading is again all the rage. So we were not surprised by a recent ad on radio touting the advantages of reading faster than you ever thought possible. We were surprised however, by the use of this simile to drive the point home. -
... "Reading with your brain is like driving
an old car at 20 miles per hour."
WTMTSW... "Did they mean 'race car' maybe?!"
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Copyright © 1997 Dalton, Rich & More, Inc. All rights reserved.
