Volume 3, Number 2

I thought that's why he was being sued .

We knew if we waited long enough, someone would slip with the Paula Jones story. For those who don't follow the trashy news, Paula Jones is the woman then-governor Bill Clinton allegedly tried to seduce. Anyway, in early September, 1997, her lawyers talked about resigning from her case because she supposedly wanted more than they believed she could get to settle the case. Well... Philadelphia's all-news radio station, KYW, reported the unfolding story by saying that while deliberating over the resolution of their dilemma, the attorneys would decide among themselves:
"...which one would handle her."

WTMTSW... "Really...we can't decide. Maybe Paula has a preference?."

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What they mean by -- "bend, but don't break."

Have you ever heard a product name and wondered if there is a hidden meaning behind the name?
For instance...
"Pressure-treated lumber."

WTMTSW... "No verbal abuse was used in the making of this product."

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Is this question gonna be on the SAT?

The Haverford Township School District in Pennsylvania is one of the top public schools in the state. But someone forgot to check with the English department before posting this sign on all the doors of the district's middle school.
"All visitors must report to school office and sign for an official visitor's pass before entering the building."

WTMTSW... "Those who ignore this invitation may be offered a job."

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Some spell P-O-T-A-T-O-E, some... well, some don't spell well at all.

Newt and company were among the first to defend our former Vice President Dan Quayle when he allegedly misspelled potato during the 1992 campaign. Well, that's probably because Newt didn't grow up in a town where spelling had a high priority... as evidenced by this sign hailing the 1997 Halloween Parade sponsored by the local Dauphin, Pennsylvania Lions Club...
"Hollween Parade"

WTMTSW... "Hollween -- Halloween. Potato -- potatoe."

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Only one way to go on this one, and that's up.

The Carlisle (PA) Evening Sentinel is a local paper known for its writing gaffes. But this headline in the October 17, 1997 sports section set a new standard:
"Mustangs end successful season with loss."

WTMTSW... "Boy, that must have been a really bad year."

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Let's see... if we get one customer to pay the whole bill, we could all retire.

Insurance advertising is either touchy-feely or so high-pressure you feel like checking to see if your money's still in your pocket after hearing a radio spot. But sometimes even insurance companies can be honest (accidentally, of course.) Like in a recent radio spot for a company selling term insurance which opened with the captivating line...
"Paying too much for term life insurance? You could be!"

WTMTSW... "Sign me up... where do I send my check?"

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Let's see... that would make him 168 years old.

D.G. Yuengling & Son has been in the beer biz since 1829. And with their ale, porter, black & tan and good ol' lager catching on in upscale bars throughout the Northeast U.S., more and more people are seeing a label that really pushes believability. It's the Chesterfield Ale label where, situated just below the logo is the line:
"America's Oldest Brewers"

WTMTSW... "Our brewmasters have tons of experience, but we don't discriminate on the basis of age."

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That's not even funny.

Small community hospitals have been gobbled up by bigger hospitals and big corporations for years. While cost containment is certainly a driving force behind the trend, we think the following headline that appeared in an ad for one of these former independents certainly didn't help their cause...
"_______ Memorial Hospital is pleased to present AIDS."

WTMTSW... "This is a limited time offer. Hurry."

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Copyright © 1997 Dalton, Rich & More, Inc. All rights reserved.

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